The Words We Sent Unspoken
by MintSauce
Summary: It all starts with a letter that Ian had meant to be a goodbye. Neither of them really ever thought it would last this long. Leaving was supposed to be the end afterall.
1. 2013

**2013**

_20__th__ December 2013_

Mickey,

Mick. You're going to think this is gay, but you can scream it at the walls now; because I'm done. I'm gone now. So maybe you won't scream it at all. You can keep it all inside of you now Mick. Don't have to worry about being a faggot, about what your dad's going to think. You can be straight now I'm gone.

Can't you?

I wonder how many times you've told yourself that.

You know it's bullshit though. Somewhere deep down inside of you, you have to know it's all bullshit. You're gay, with or without me, you're gay. You're gay and maybe I'm always going to love you. So maybe we're both liars.

Does it really matter anymore?

Done is done, right Mick? How do those words taste on your tongue now?

Ian

_Sent to: Gallagher Dec.23.2013. 11.18pm._

Fuck you. We r exactly the same Gallagher. Dnt pretend ur not a coward. How's it feel knowing this time ur the 1 who wlked away?

_Sent to Gallagher Dec.25.2013 00. UNSENT_

Merry Xmas Firecrotch.

_Sent to Mickey Dec.25.2013 00.02am. MESSAGE UNSENT_

Merry Christmas Mickey.


	2. 2014

**2014**

_11__th__ January 2014_

Mickey,

I hate you.

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

I wish I knew how to cut you out of my head.

This escape isn't supposed to make me think of you. Gunshots aren't supposed to make me think of you.

Guess I chose the wrong fucking place.

How is it fair that someone shouting my last name makes me think of you? How is any of this fair Mickey, just tell me that. Just tell me how I deserved this?

I wish I didn't feel like I was lying when I said I hate you. Sometimes I wish I meant it.

Ian

_Sent to Gallagher Jan 17.2014 6. UNSENT_

I wish I knew how 2 cut u out of me 2.

_Sent to Gallagher Jan 17.2014 6.20pm._

Sometimes I wish u meant it 2.

_Sent to Mickey Jan 30.2014 5.30am._

Would you even tell me how to forget you if you knew the answer?

_Sent to Gallagher Jan 30.2014 5.41am. MESSAGE UNSENT_

No.

_Sent to Gallagher March 1.2014 3.43am._

Ur selfish. U know that?

_Sent to Mickey March 1.2014 9.12pm._

I know.

_Sent to Mickey April.15.2014 3.11pm._

Debbie told me what you did. I don't understand you. You're not supposed to be nice to my family.

_Sent to Gallagher April.15.2014 4.31pm._

U weren't supposed 2 fck up their lives. U fcked up by leaving.

_Sent to Gallagher April.15.2014 4.33pm. MESSAGE UNSENT_

It's only cuz she looks like u.

_Sent to Mickey April.15.2014 8.23pm._

I know I did.

_Sent to Gallagher March.23.2014. 00.01am. MESSAGE UNSENT_

Happy Birthday Firecrotch.

_Sent to Gallagher March.23.2014. 00.4am. MESSAGE UNSENT_

Was 2 months really that long 2 wait 2 be legal?

_Sent to Gallagher. March.23.2014. 00.12am._

_*blank message*_

_Sent to Mickey March.23.2014. 00.15am._

I didn't think you'd remember.

_Sent to Mickey March.23.2014. 00.17am._

Thank you.

_Sent to Mickey May.1.2014 5.49am._

Sometimes it makes me sick to think of you fucking her.

_Sent to Gallagher May.1.2014 6.58am._

I don't.

_Sent to Mickey August.23.2014 11.11pm._

Sometimes I wish I'd never met you.

_Sent to Gallagher August 23.2014 11.15pm._

I never wish that.

_Sent to Mickey August.23.2014 11.18pm._

Liar.

_Sent to Gallagher August.23.2014 11.27pm._

I never wish that and mean it.

_Sent to Mickey August.25.2014 00.01am._

Happy Birthday Mick.

_Sent to Gallagher August.25.2014 00.13am._

How the fuck do u know when my bday is!?

_Sent to Mickey August.25.2014 00.15am._

How do you know when mine is?

_Sent to Mickey November.12.2014 2.41am._

I miss you.

_Sent to Gallagher November.12.2014 2.43am. MESSAGE UNSENT._

Same.

_Sent to Gallagher November.12.2014 3.04am. _

Same.

_Sent to Mickey November.12.2014 3.10am._

Can't even type it out can you.

_Sent to Gallagher November.12.2014 10.23pm._

I miss you.

_Sent to Gallagher December.25.2014 2.11pm_

I wanted 2 say don't leave.

_Sent to Mickey December.25.2014 2.18pm._

I know.

_Sent to Gallagher December.25.2014 2.30pm._

That makes u the asshole 4 leaving anyway.

_Sent to Mickey December.25.2014 2.33pm. MESSAGE UNSENT_

I know it does.

_Sent to Mickey December.25.2014 2.39pm._

Sometimes you just have to hear people say the words, Mick.

_Sent to Mickey December.25.2014 2.43pm._

Oh and Merry Christmas.

_Sent to Gallagher December.25.2014 2.47pm_

Yeah. Merry Xmas Gallagher.

_Sent to Gallagher December.27.2014 5.19am._

I think something is fcked in my head. I don't think I know how 2 say it.

_Sent to Gallagher December.27.2014 5.22am._

Ur better off finding someone who can.

_Sent to Gallagher December.27.2014 5.24am._

Ur better off forgetting me.

_Sent to MickeyDecember.27.2014 5.33am._

I know. Sometimes I wish I could. Sometime I wish I knew how.

_Sent to Gallagher December.27.2014 6.02am._

U always say sometimes.

_Sent to Mickey December.27.2014 6.22am._

I know.

_Sent to Mickey December.27.2014 8.17pm._

I know


	3. 2015

**2015**

_Sent to Mickey January.1.2015 4.41am._

I fucked someone else.

_Sent to Gallagher January.1.2015 4.49am._

The fck makes u think I care!

_Sent to Mickey January.1.2015 4.56am._

The fact you replied.

_Sent to Gallagher January.1.2015 5.12am._

Fuck you.

_Sent to Mickey January.1.2015 5.14am. MESSAGE UNSENT_

I wish I had.

_Sent to Mickey January.1.2015 5.21am. _

I threw up afterwards.

_Sent to Mickey January.1.2015 5.23am. _

And I think he got offended.

_Sent to Gallagher January.1.2015 5.30am. _

U fckin surprised?

_Sent to Mickey January.1.2015 5.14am. _

No. Not about either thing.

_Sent to Gallagher February.9.2015 2.19am._

U only want me 2 change.

_Sent to Gallagher February.9.2015 2.30am._

I'd never change anything about u.

_Sent to Mickey February.9.2015 9.39pm._

I fell in love with you like you were.

_Sent to Mickey February.9.2015 10.01pm._

And it's not trying to change you if I know you were capable of it.

_Sent to Gallagher February.9.2015 10.12pm._

Capable of what?

_Sent to Mickey Febrary.9.2015 10.15pm._

Of saying you love me.

_Sent to Gallagher February.9.2015 11.07pm. MESSAGE UNSENT_

I love you.

_Sent to Gallagher May.23.2015 00.02am_

Happy Birthday.

_Sent to Mickey June.28.2015 6.02am._

If you could go back and change one thing? What would it be?

_Sent to Gallagher June.28.2015 6.11am. MESSAGE UNSENT_

Not saying don't go.

_Sent to Gallagher June.28.2015 6.14am._

Letting that prick Kash shoot me.

_Sent to Mickey June.28.2015 6.19am._

You wouldn't change fucking me that first time?

_Sent to Gallagher June.28.2015 6.23am._

No.

_Sent to Gallagher June.28.2015 6.26am._

Would you?

_Sent to Mickey June.28.2015 6.31am. MESSAGE UNSENT_

I'd only change leaving.

_Sent to Mickey June.28.2015 6.33am._

No.

_Sent to Mickey August.25.2015 00.14am._

Happy Birthday.

_Sent to Mickey December.24.2015 11.46pm._

I still miss you.

_Sent to Gallagher December.24.2015 11.53pm._

I still miss you too.

_Sent to Mickey December.25.2015 00.01am._

Merry Christmas Mickey.

_Sent to Gallagher December.25.2015 00.02am._

Merry Christmas.


	4. 2016

**2016**

_Sent to Mickey March.11.2016 5.31pm._

Why didn't you tell me she was never pregnant?

_Sent to Gallagher March.11.2016 6.02pm._

I didn't know u needed 2 know.

_Sent to Mickey March.11.2016 6.24pm._

I needed to know.

_Sent to Gallagher March.11.2016 6.31pm._

She's not pregnant Gallagher.

_Sent to Mickey March.11.2016 6.39pm._

Better late than never I suppose.

_Sent to Gallagher May.23.2016 4.51am._

Happy Birthday Firecrotch.

_Sent to Mickey June.17.2016 11.12pm._

Tell me something I don't know.

_Sent to Gallagher June.17.2016 11.17pm._

I saw u fcking Roger Spikey once.

_Sent to Gallagher June.17.2016 11.19pm._

I broke 4 of his ribs and his nose the nxt day.

_Sent to Mickey June.17.2016 11.26pm._

For being a faggot?

_Sent to Gallagher June.17.2016 11.31pm._

No.

_Sent to Mickey June.17.2016 11.34pm._

Why then?

_Sent to Gallagher June.17.2016 11.51pm._

I think I was jealous.

_Sent to Mickey June.17.2016 11.55pm_

Even then?

_Sent to Gallagher June.17.2016 11.58pm_

Yeah.

_Sent to Mickey June.18.2016 00.03am._

Why?

_Sent to Gallagher June.18.2016 00.07am_

I think I have a thing 4 redheads

_Sent to Mickey August.25.2016 00.03am._

Happy 21st Mick. You can get legally shitfaced now.

_Sent to Gallagher August.25.2016 00.14am._

U shld b here

_Sent to Gallagher August.25.2016 00.25am._

Y u nt hre? Fck u.

_Sent to Mickey August.25.2016 00.27am._

You're drunk already aren't you?

_Sent to Gallagher August.25.2016 00.33am._

Y r u gingr?

_Sent to Mickey August.25.2016 00.51am._

You're going to hate the world when you wake up from this. Happy Birthday Mickey.

_Sent to Gallagher August.26.2016 1.15pm._

I'm never drinkin again.

_Sent to Mickey August.26.2016 7.25pm._

Hahahahahahahahaha.

_Sent to Gallagher August.26.2016 7.28pm._

Fuck you.

_12__th__ September 2016_

Mickey,

Do me a favour?

There's a tin on the top shelf of one of the cupboards with money in. Put this in there.

Fiona won't take my military money, but she needs it.

Ian

_Sent to Gallagher September.17.2016 12.36pm._

Y the fck would u trust me with ur money? How do u know I ain't spent it on summat else?

_Sent to Mickey September.17.2016 7.11pm_

Because I know you wouldn't. Thank you.

_Sent to Gallagher December.25.2016 11.34am._

Merry Christmas fuckhead.

_Sent to Mickey December.25.2016 11.38am._

Merry Christmas Michael.

_Sent to Gallagher December.25.2016 11.41am._

Ur not funny.

_Sent to Mickey December.25.2016 11.48am._

I'm hilarious.


	5. 2017

**2017**

_Sent to Gallagher February.19.2017 3.15am_

Ur brother's fckin my sister again.

_Sent to Mickey February.19.2017 3.21am._

Probably.

_Sent to Gallagher February.19.2017 3.24am._

I can hear them. Ur brother sounds like a retard when he cums.

_Sent to Mickey Februrary.19.2017 3.27am._

I didn't need to know that.

_Sent to Gallagher February.19.2017 3.29am._

And I dnt need 2 b hearing it.

_Sent to Gallagher February.19.2017 3.34am._

If he breaks her heart I'll break his face.

_Sent to Mickey Febrary.19.2017 3.39am._

I know.

_Sent to Mickey Febrary.19.2017 3.41am._

He probably will.

_Sent to Gallagher February.19.2017 3.45am._

I know.

_Sent to Mickey February.19.2017 3.48am._

Don't break anything more than his nose. Please.

_Sent to Gallagher February.19.2017 3.53am._

Okay.

_Sent to Gallagher February.19.2017 4.01am._

*_image sent*_

_Sent to Mickey February.19.2017 4.03am._

What the fuck is that?

_Sent to Gallagher February.19.2017 4.05am._

Ur brother when I throw a bucket of water on him.

_Sent to Gallagher February.19.2017 4.07am._

U fck with my sleep I fck with urs.

_Sent to Mickey February.19.2017 4.15am._

You're hiding in the bathroom from Mandy right now aren't you?

_Sent to Gallagher February.19.2017 4.17am._

Maybe. Yes.

_Sent to Gallagher March.30.2017 2.12am._

Y don't u tlk 2 Lip anymore?

_Sent to Mickey March.30.2017 2.14am._

How do you know that?

_Sent to Gallagher March.30.2017 2.16am._

Heard him and Mandy. Y not?

_Sent to Mickey March.30.2017 2.20am._

He hates me. For joining the army. For ruining his chances with MIT.

_Sent to Gallagher March.30.2017 2.24am._

Mandy said he wasn't gonna go anyway.

_Sent to Mickey March.30.2017 2.27am._

I know. He just wants an excuse. I deserve it.

_Sent to Mickey March.31.2017 12.38pm_

I don't know what you said to Lip. But thank you.

_Sent to Gallagher March.31.2017 12.42pm._

Dnt know what ur tlkin about Gallagher.

_Sent to Mickey March.31.2017 12.48pm._

Of course not Mick.

_Sent to Gallagher May.23.2017 00.11am._

Happy Birthday.

_Sent to Mickey May.23.2017 00.13am._

I should be home soon. I think. Sometimes I can't remember how long it's been.

_Sent to Gallagher May.23.2017 00. UNSENT_

3 yrs, 5 months, 3 days.

_Sent to Gallagher May.23.2017 11.13pm._

3 yrs. 5 months. 3 days.

_Sent to Mickey May.23.2017 11.16pm._

Oh.

_Sent to Gallagher June.15.2017 2.57am._

Do u ever get used 2 them callin u Lip?

_Sent to Mickey June.15.2017 3. UNSENT_

They call me Gallagher more. Which I think is worse.

_Sent to Mickey June.15.2017 3.07am._

Not really.

_Sent to Mickey July.26.2017 1.13am._

I just had a dream about you. We were happy.

_Sent to Gallagher July.26.2017 1.15am. MESSAGE UNSENT_

I have those.

_Sent to Gallagher July.26.2017 1.17am. MESSAGE UNSENT_

Sometimes I think we r almost happy now. Talking like this.

_Sent to Gallagher July.26.2017 1.21am._

Future or memory?

_Sent to Mickey July.26.2017 1.24am._

Does it matter?

_Sent to Gallagher July.26.2017 1.29am._

Yes.

_Sent to Gallagher July.26.2017 1.31am._

Future means u have hope.

_Sent to Mickey July.26.2017 1.33am._

Future.

_Sent to Mickey August.25.2017 0.14am._

You don't have to say it back; but I love you. Happy Birthday Mick.

_Sent to Gallagher August.25.2017 0. UNSENT_

I love you too Firecrotch.

_Sent to Gallagher December.25.2017 12.19pm._

Apparently ur home now.

_Sent to Mickey December.25.2017 12.31pm._

Yeah. Got in early this morning.

_Sent to Gallagher December.25.2017 12.41pm._

I love you.

_Sent to Mickey December.25.2017 12.51pm._

You on the roof?

_Sent to Gallagher December.25.2017 12.52pm._

Yeah.

_Sent to Mickey December.25.2017 12.53pm._

Then stop staring at your phone and turn around.


End file.
